In the beginning, flirting was probably effortless. From lingering glances to a flip of the hair, both of you were rapidly firing off cues that demonstrated a mix of interest and passion.
Fast forward a few years, past an engagement, marriage, honeymoon. Add in some careers, maybe a couple of kids, a mortgage, large appliances that need replacing, and before you know it, flirting is a distant memory.
With Valentine’s Day coming up, it’s a good time to brush up on the art of flirting and re-introduce it to your relationship with your spouse. This doesn’t have to be another time-consuming item for your “to do” list. There’s power in simplicity. A few small gestures throughout the day can be ongoing, gentle reminders to both of you of the passionate side of your relationship. You can re-ignite the flame with an ongoing series of sparks—you don’t have to light an inferno.
Here are 11 easy ways to add some flirtatious fun to your daily interactions with your spouse. Try a few out today!
1. Show interest. When your spouse is talking to you, put the paper down, step away from the computer, let the phone go to voicemail. Make eye contact. Ask open-ended questions that have nothing to do with bills, in-laws or household projects.
2. Touch your spouse. Very simple, quick physical contact can make a big impact. Offer her a foot or back rub—especially if you haven’t done it in awhile. Touch his face. The classic “wraparound-the-back hug and neck nuzzle” when he or she is standing at the kitchen sink is always popular. When you reach for your toothbrush as she’s standing at the sink, place your hand on her waist or hip. Find excuses to reach out and touch your spouse.
3. Tell a joke. Humor can be magical, reducing the tension of the day, improving the mood and atmosphere. Find something funny to share with your spouse. On the flip side, be sure to laugh at his or her jokes.
4. Clean up. It seems simple, but let’s be realistic. Sometimes things slide during the course of a busy day. Take a bath and brush your teeth.
5. Wear something special. When you have some time to spend together, or want to make time, put on something your spouse likes that you feel good in, even if it’s a clean pair of jeans and a great T-shirt.
6. Snuggle. Rather than sit at opposite ends of the couch to watch a movie, scoot in and keep each other warm.
7. Talk. Make conversation rather than reading the paper or watching television. Good conversation inducers include a walk around the neighborhood or a cozy couch, candlelight and a glass of wine.
8. Compliment one other. We all love to hear good things about ourselves, especially from those most important to us. What do you admire about your spouse? Tell him or her about it!
9. Put that technology to good use. Text a sweet sentiment or profession of love. Use an e-mail to say hello in the middle of the day. Calling to check in during the day? Instead of going directly into “What’s for dinner?” shock her with “I just wanted to tell you I love you.”
10. Hold hands. The next time you’re walking somewhere together—even if it’s just through the grocery store parking lot—grab your honey’s hand. It may surprise you both.
11. Kiss each other hello and goodbye every single time. This is a quick but meaningful gesture. Go ahead and linger over them occasionally and see what happens.
Happy flirting!
Diane Gottsman
Diane Gottsman, a nationally recognized etiquette expert, is the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in etiquette training for corporations, universities and individuals, striving to polish their interpersonal skills. You can reach Diane at 877-490-1077 or www.dianegottsman.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @: www.twitter.com/DianeGottsman.
