Tag: grow

It is probably hard to believe this at times—like when your tween is rolling her eyes at you—but your kids actually do think of you as a role model. Even when we think they are ignoring us, they are closely watching and seeing how we respond to all of life’s challenges.

With that in mind, it is possible to harness this role model power of parenting and show our kids that anything is possible. Here are a few ways we can show our kids that they too can achieve anything in life.

You hear it again and again, "After I got married I stopped having time for myself." Cooperation is a healthy part in a relationship. The trick is to grow together, and as the old saying goes, to "row in the same direction."

Growing in a marriage as the years pass takes skill. Marriages that stagnate become ripe for problems. So how do you grow in your marriage? Just like the flowers and trees, all relationships need water and sunlight, a little tending to pull up the weeds and a little talk to help them grow along.

"This is the body that engages in sex, a body with so much soul that any attempt to deny its layers of meaning will come back to haunt us."  ~Thomas Moore

  Maybe the smartest book I have ever read about how sexual attraction happens and why it is such a powerfully transformative healing response came from Stanley Siegel’s book, "Your Brain on Sex."

There are seven components that create a healthy marriage, and if any of those elements are missing in your marriage, your needs are probably not getting met.

You can't simply express your "needs" to your partner, without first working to create a healthier marriage overall. What would happen if you told your spouse that, "you never listen to me?" Listening is a "need," but without having good communication skills in your marriage, that need will never get met. Or, what if your spouse told you he’s not happy because he’s not getting enough sex.

Many of us run from conflict. It just seems to be a part of the human psyche. When we don't agree with an issue, sometimes we skulk away to fume and fuss privately instead of confronting the issue head on. Many of us would never admit that we fear standing up for ourselves because to be bold, strong and assertive is politically correct. This is what is expected of us as well-adjusted adults, so we like to claim these traits as our own.

In real life, however, speaking what's on our mind gets a bit more complicated. Some of us can vacillate inconsistently between cowardice and bravado, others can become onerous, aggressive and downright nasty while still others will run away with their tail between their legs.

Married life is easy.

You may have read, heard, or even experienced the opposite—that marriage is hard work. I used to believe that was true. Not anymore.

Marriage is easy.

I understand that making time for someone else or giving up some of the things you love or getting your own way creates some struggles in life, but once again, marriage is easy. Perhaps those who believe marriage is hard work are actually referring to the difficulty of interacting and living with an immature, childish human.

You're out with a couple of friends having a good time… and your future spouse walked into the room and your heart skipped a beat. Everything around you faded into the background and the only thing that existed was them.

You muster up the courage to introduce yourself and a fairy tale relationship is born. All that’s left is moonlit walks on the beach, rose petals sprinkled around the bedroom and making passionate love each morning as the gentle breeze blows through the windows and the birds sing pleasantly outside.