Tag: honor

The holidays are here. It's a season of joy and celebration. It can also be a little crazy.

Black Friday has invaded Thanksgiving. The frantic hunt for perfect deals is underway. Holiday shopping has become a contact sport. You can feel the tension amid bright lights and the tinkling bells. We’re impatient, hurried, even frantic. As the traffic increases, so does our blood pressure.

Holidays are also stressful for another reason. They surface our losses like nothing else can. We're keenly aware of who's missing.

We have loved ones who can’t be with us this year. Some have died. Others are still here, but no longer remember. Some are chronically ill. Some are alone in ways they’ve never have been before.

Loss hurts.

Both my grandfathers died before I could get to know them. Sexual abuse stole large chunks of my early childhood. One of my best friends died of a sudden illness when I was 12. My parents divorced. My mom disappeared into mental illness. My dad’s sudden, unexpected death when I was 15 shattered my world.

The hits came quickly and stuck deep. I was clueless about how to deal with it all. As a teen, I wondered if I was going to be able to weather future storms. I braced myself for the next loss. I lived in quiet fear, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

As Father’s Day approaches, many of us take time to contemplate just how powerful the paternal influence can be. For good or for ill, the lessons fathers teach impact their children for the rest of their lives. My own father was not only a great dad, but his unmatchable fortitude taught me how to overcome incredible odds and survive my own devastating illness.

Six years ago, I was diagnosed with the gene for Huntington’s disease, a hereditary illness that presents like a combination of Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and schizophrenia combined. John Mattinson, my father, who also has HD, has been diagnosed for 25 years, but also had symptoms for many years prior.

Fathers. What would we do without them? Here we are, with Father’s Day right around the corner, and there is no better time to take a look at what the father’s in our lives mean to us. Dads have some very tough shoes to fill. Although one day a year is hardly enough to honor and recognize all that the father’s in our lives do, Father’s Day is a good place to start.

Looking at my own father, I see a man of strength and tenacity. Though he might not have gotten the fatherhood job description down perfectly, my father was a man of deep commitment. He believed in the ideal of family.

Spring comes around the corner bringing a bounty of flowers and gentle breezes filled with the sweet music of birds. Husbands and wives can take deep breaths of relief knowing that the taxing, expensive holidays are behind them (or yet to come). This makes room for some of the gentler, more introspective celebrations of life.

As we enter the month of May, the idea of cherishing those important maternal figures in our lives comes into focus. Mother’s Day offers the opportunity to show how much they are appreciated. Whether or not you have children, Mother’s Day allows each one of us to turn special attention to the mothers and mother-figures in our lives.