Tag: negativity

Identify theft is real, and it is awful. But there is a worse thief that lurks in the secret recesses of our private thoughts. And that person is called, the "Joy Thief."

Negativity is the name of the "Joy Thief’s" game, and it is a deadly one.

The Joy Thief, when allowed into our hearts, can ruin the best of marriages—the joy that is our natural birthright, whether it come from the beauty of a sunset, the glow of pride from a job well done or the warmth of a smile. All these pale and turn cold when negativity overwhelms our lives.

Of all the positive emotions, hope is unique. It is the only one that requires negativity or uncertainty to get underway. None of the others, such as joy, gratitude, interest, awe, love, or serenity, need this kind of jump-start. They can be experienced without another emotion to set them in motion. Hope is also different than faith. Hope happens when we have an expectation we can control our future. Faith is when we believe something else holds sway over it. Hope takes place when we can expect to influence the outcome—and we lose it when we don’t think we can.

Would you describe yourself as critical, as in you can’t help but notice the flaws of your spouse? Your negative perceptions might be due to projection. Similarly, positive comments can be self-revealing. For example, you are kinder to your spouse, as well as others, when you are happy. In short, you tend to see in others traits similar to your own which are fueled by your mood. Since your spouse stands directly in the line of fire, you are virtually looking in a metaphorical mirror.

Most things that upset your equilibrium challenge your self worth in some way. Research conducted by Dustin Wood

They say when you marry your spouse you marry their family. While this is a common statement, it is still often underestimated how true this really is.

As a marriage therapist, it always amazes me on how little attention is invested in really getting to know one’s future in-laws, understanding their feelings and getting to know the family he/she is about to marry into. During the dating period, the main idea is to make a good impression and get an endorsement, so to speak.

What happens at your house at the end of each day? Do you and your wonderful spouse greet each other warmly, enjoy a nice meal with stimulating conversation and then fall passionately into bed together? Or do you spend your time together complaining about your workday, trading the latest gossip about the neighbors, watching back-biting competitors duke it out on reality television shows and then fall into bed feeling mentally drained and exhausted from another typical day?

One of the best ways you can spice up your relationship is to eliminate the negative drama that keeps you from being nice.