Tag: separation

When faced with major life decisions, it’s natural to take time to ensure the right one is made. Weighing the pros and cons, making lists, asking other’s opinions, doing extensive research, reading online reviews—all part of the process.

What do we do when we’re struggling with the life-changing decision of whether or not to leave our marriages?

This decision isn’t made with research and reviews. This one involves your heart more than your head. To make matters even more complicated, it also involves not only your future, but the future and the happiness of others

What is the difference between a separation and a divorce? With a separation, you may be living in a different residence than your spouse, but you are still legally married. With a divorce, the marriage is legally over, even if you still happen to be living with your ex. A person may seek a separation instead of a divorce, or vice versa, for various reasons. Five common considerations include the following:

1. Genuine Possibility of Saving the Marriage: If you want to live separate from your spouse, but believe that there is a reasonable chance of saving the marriage, through counseling or otherwise, then consider a separation instead of a divorce.

It’s one of the main reasons older couples get divorced yet it’s not on the radar or thought about at all when we first marry—growing apart.

Makes sense. When we are madly in love and constantly engaging in new experiences as a couple, we cannot imagine growing apart. On top of that, when our lives get hectic, complicated and busier than they should be, we are too caught up in the non-stop to realize how much we might be growing apart. Until we are living separate lives under the same roof. Yikes.

Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.

My husband and I have been together for three years and lately he doesn’t want sex at all. Before we were having sex three to four times a week. I’ve tried making the moves but he just rolls over or ignores me.

Many times in life our behaviors say what our mouths cannot. By not speaking, plus cutting the emotional bond, and no physical touch your husband is practically "screaming" that something is wrong.

Remember falling in love with your partner? Wasn’t there something magical in even the most mundane details of his/her life story? You were deeply interested in him (and he in you) and it showed. You cooked elaborate meals for him; he bought you little gifts (just because); you spent hours passionately discussing every topic under the sun (that is, when you weren’t passionately doing other things!). Now you barely notice he’s in the house, your sex life has dwindled to one ho-hum encounter a month, and when he talks, you can feel your eyes glazing over.

At this point we’ve all heard the alarming statistics and percentages of marriages ending in separation and divorce. And, although many couples try and resolve their issues through a number of outlets, sometimes separation and/or divorce happens. However, many couples that choose this route might have children, and those children do suffer. And the current modernist thinking about this, is well, the kids will be all right. A couple of tough months maybe, but hey, now they can have two Christmas’s, two birthdays, and two Thanksgivings. And the occasional blood feud between Mom and Dad over money, or time with the kids, or things allowed here but not allowed there—it’s just part of growing up.

Loss hurts.

Both my grandfathers died before I could get to know them. Sexual abuse stole large chunks of my early childhood. One of my best friends died of a sudden illness when I was 12. My parents divorced. My mom disappeared into mental illness. My dad’s sudden, unexpected death when I was 15 shattered my world.

The hits came quickly and stuck deep. I was clueless about how to deal with it all. As a teen, I wondered if I was going to be able to weather future storms. I braced myself for the next loss. I lived in quiet fear, waiting for the other shoe to drop.