Tag: sexless

It was 1998, and I waited nervously in my doctor’s waiting room. The blood tests were in, and I was convinced something was wrong with me. I thought I had cancer, a thyroid imbalance, or my ovaries weren’t releasing the proper hormones. I needed a medical reason to explain why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband. After all, I was only 25 and married for just one year.

The doctor came in and gave me the news:

"Lindsey, there is nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly healthy."

“I can’t wait to see you tonight."

"Oh, I can’t get enough of you!"

"I just want to kiss your face and touch your body!"

Have phrases like this gone by the wayside? Do you wonder what happened to your spouse’s interest in sex? Is there an absence of desire and passion? Do you want to fall for your sweetheart all over again? You can make it happen! Even if the well of sexual intimacy has gone all but dry in your marriage, it is truly possible to get things flowing again. Armed with a bucket of insightful tools, you’ll be on your way to restoring sexual intimacy in your marriage—the most important relationship in your life.

It feels so wonderful to be in love—especially during the early stages of a relationship. Before the reality of life sets in, the delights of new love and lust are tremendous. It’s wonderful to have the "high" of being connected and desired. It feels wonderful to experience the intense longing and desire that lead to wild, passionate sex. And, yes, it’s even more wonderful to have these amazing feelings and experiences of love and passion deepen in the months and years after the honeymoon.

When it comes to the discussion of sex, we all know that married sex has been given a bad rap. When we think of marriage and sex, very often words like boring, predictable and infrequent readily come to mind. With all the focus in film and novels on passionate, clandestine encounters between strangers who hardly know each other, married people can be left to feel that they are missing out on all the excitement. If we were to really pay attention to the hype, many of us would walk away from our marriages because we thought we were being short-changed. If we were to honestly assess the state of married sex, however, we would find many benefits of sex in a marital union.

A sexless marriage is one where the couple has sex 10 or less times a year. Sounds like every couple could viably and easily shift from a sexless marriage to a sex-full marriage based on that definition, don’t you think?

Communication is Connection

During the dating phase of a relationship, couples ask each other lots of questions as a means to connect intimately to know each other at a deep level. Post marriage, couples stop connecting in this way. It is very easy to get busy with our day-to-day lives balancing our jobs, managing a household, being parents, finding time for ourselves, incorporating time for family and friends, managing the children’s schedules, etc.