Tag: sexuality

In our third and final installment we are going to discuss the simple changes to your sexual routine that can help after prostate surgery. These techniques can be used with or without the use of medications for erectile dysfunction.

One of the most important things to remember is that after prostate surgery, your husband’s subsequent sexual difficulties can originate from physical or psychological issues, or a combination of the two. Many males feel less of a man after surgery and there is a period where he may wonder if his pride and joy (his penis) is ever going to perform again.

There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure; especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.

"There is no other physical act at our disposal that carries the physical, emotional and spiritual benefits of making love, especially with someone you love." ~Unknown

No one really understands sex, but if you are lucky, you get to spend years coming to grips with your erotic self and learning how to share and enhance the pleasure it brings. A good way to approach the topic is to think of our sexuality as an emergent rather than objective reality. That means we are willing to come to understand our sexuality and its meaning moment by moment and re-inventing it anew each and every time we are sexual.

A central agent of the erotic act, of eroticism, is the imagination…if that goes away, that’s when the breakdown of desire often occurs.—Esther Perel

I often tell couples that the sexiest part of their body is their brain. Usually, I am trying to get them to understand the connection between their olfactory system and the limbic section where memory, emotion and sexuality are activated. But the more I talk about it, the more I have come to realize that this is also a key entry point to our sexual imagination and our capacity for fantasy. We all have our own personal brand of eroticism—how sexuality is transformed by our imagination—but we don’t all have equal access to it.

"Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken." ~ Simone de Beauvoir

Scents of Seduction
Having an orgasm starts with feeling aroused. No arousal, no orgasm. Arousal begins in the brain, specifically the limbic area where our sense of smell intersects with our emotional process, our memory store and our sexuality. Vibrations of arousal and eventually orgasm live in the body and are triggered in the brain. Trust your sense of smell and indulge your olfactory in whatever scents turn you on.

"The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life." ~ Wilhelm Reich

Everyone wants to orgasm. This is just a fact of life and nature. Long ago, before pornography was everywhere, desire and lust still held a formative place in our human sexuality makeup—we all had a little more room to imagine orgasmic experience and less to compare ourselves to. With the advent of internet pornography, you can witness orgasms on demand, but that doesn’t mean you can make yourself or your spouse have one. Therein lies the conundrum of orgasms.