Tag: values

I know that when my husband married me, he took on hefty responsibilities—not just for himself anymore—but for me and our future children, including promises to:

* Please (always)
* Provide (as much as possible)
* Protect (when necessary)
* Problem solve (as called upon)
* Procreate (as agreed upon)

Are you surprised to know that love tops the list of Americans' reasons to marry? Probably not. "About nine in ten Americans (88%) cited love as a fundamental reason to get married, ahead of making a lifelong commitment (81%) and companionship (76%)," according to a Pew Research Center survey."

Marriage is hard, so being in love is an excellent place to start the journey if you're going to do it. But if most people get married for love, why does the divorce rate still hover around 50% for first-timers and even higher for second and third marriages?

Falling in love is a wonderful experience: The ecstasy of losing yourself in another’s eyes, the excitement of imagining a life together, the freedom of discovering the intimate secrets of another person. But we all know that after that initial love glow fades and the reality of learning to share your life with another—no matter how compatible—sets in, relationships require effort. And when the real work of building a relationship together begins, we all make mistakes along the way.

Since many readers will, I assume, be interested in what creates monogamy, and since this often proves to be a highly challenging aspect of marriage, it's definitely worth taking some time to understand what influences people to conform with this expectation or not.

Let me just state it plainly: No one will remain sexually "faithful" unless it fits in with his or her own hierarchy of values. In other words, there's no such thing as being true to this woman or that man . . . only to one's own values.

There has been much talk lately about character, be that in connection with the upcoming presidential elections or on other political/financial fronts.

"Yes, I know, I know," you say. "That's all we hear about, so-and-so has character, so-and-so doesn't. So what? And what does that have to do with me?" A lot actually. For character, you see, is the basis for trustworthiness—yours, and that of the people in your life.

Weddings have become big business. Various wedding preparation books flood the market, all geared towards the aesthetics of the day. Rows of books full of decoration ideas line the walls of numerous bookstores; blogs are devoted to the topic; and multiple magazines boost insider knowledge about planning this special day.

When it is all over, then what?

Many people spend a great deal of energy focusing on making that one day perfect. Unfortunately, not nearly as much focus is put upon the day after the wedding, or for that matter, the year after.

One of the universal truths is that, while money can help meet your needs and provide you with the basic necessities of life, it can’t make you happy.

However, it can be a powerful weapon of self-satisfaction when used the right way, such as through philanthropic endeavors.  And since April 15 is around the corner, it is a good time to contemplate how you can integrate charitable giving into your tax-planning strategies.