Tag: wedding

Here's a piece of folk wisdom nearly every newlywed has heard: "If you can survive the wedding, surviving the marriage will be a piece of cake!" Weddings are indeed stressful because they involve a massive amount of planning, cooperating/compromising with your spouse-to-be, the convergence of diverse family and friends, decisions about religion and family traditions, and of course, lots of money.

After the wedding, many newly married couples experience what social scientists call "the honeymoon phase"—a period of several months in the beginning of marriage, characterized by passionate love and intense happiness.

Weddings have become big business. Various wedding preparation books flood the market, all geared towards the aesthetics of the day. Rows of books full of decoration ideas line the walls of numerous bookstores; blogs are devoted to the topic; and multiple magazines boost insider knowledge about planning this special day.

When it is all over, then what?

Many people spend a great deal of energy focusing on making that one day perfect. Unfortunately, not nearly as much focus is put upon the day after the wedding, or for that matter, the year after.

Ahhhhh… the absolute bliss of being a newlywed! Every day is sheer perfection. Life couldn’t be rosier!

I know that the honeymoon will never be over in my marriage! I’m laughing out loud, because—as most newlyweds like myself will attest—the early days of marriage are not always smooth.

As you read, maybe you’ll find yourself commiserating with me, and maybe you’ll just shake your head and laugh. In sharing my laughable journey with you, I hope to help other couples feel not so alone—or at least not altogether "abnormal." In fact, there’s a comforting, humbling humanness in sharing my personal experiences from the inside out.

Tucked away within the tranquil confines of Rutherford on a gorgeous estate in the heart of the Napa Valley, Sullivan Vineyards is the realization of founder Jim Sullivan’s dream to create high-quality, high-end wines.

It all started when Jim and his wife Joanna received an arbor of grape vine cuttings as a wedding present. Though a seemingly simple gift, the cuttings inspired Jim to try his hand at winemaking, and as his skills grew, so did his passion for producing superior wines.

"After we’re married and he’s my husband, he’ll stop watching his sports on Sundays because that will be our family day," my friend Carrie assured me over lunch as she looked forward to her big day in just two months. I smiled as she spoke, remembering some similar plans her fiancé Jeff had shared with me recently. Jeff was thrilled they were getting married. Carrie could focus on being at home, taking care of the house and getting ready for the two kids they both wanted very soon.

Two months later, after their wedding day commenced and their married life began, you can imagine my dismay when Carrie came to me complaining that Jeff was refusing to stop watching his sports on Sundays.

You’re home from the honeymoon and busily settling into your new life. There is much to do, including the loose ends to tie up concerning your recent marriage. Most important among those tasks is properly thanking those who generously celebrated with you.

Thank-You Notes
Never mind that old etiquette books say newlyweds have twelve months to mail thank you notes. There is no reason that it should take longer than two months to thank everyone who generously took the time to purchase a gift for you. To show your gratitude in a timely manner, start by sending out thank-you notes as soon as you receive gifts, including gifts received before the wedding. Open the gift and immediately sit down and write those cards!

Do you remember why you married your spouse? Do you remember the excitement and the joy 12 years and three kids later? One meaningful way you can is by renewing your vows.

Why on earth would you go to such trouble? There are many reasons. Do you ever feel significantly uplifted when you attend a wedding that is particularly meaningful or the couple just seems to have a great connection? Do you remember how your parents were on cloud nine after your wedding?