Tag: valentine's day

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. That means you’ll most likely be saying, "I love you" to your sweetie with flowers, chocolates, a romantic dinner, or perhaps (depending on your budget) something even grander like a diamond necklace or a tropical cruise. These tokens of your love are a nice gesture and will surely be appreciated. But in terms of creating togetherness, these "special occasion" gifts pale in comparison to the little moments repeated over and over all year long.

Ah, Valentine’s Day! Due to its manufactured "specialness" we try hard to be on our best behavior (never mind that once the obligatory gifts have been exchanged we’re back to our old February 15 habits). But this holiday shines a light on what we think great relationships are about—and how far off the mark we really are.

There are so many misconceptions around romance, and they’re on full display on Valentine’s Day. Flowers and gifts and fancy meals are nice, but they can’t make up for a lack of deep connection and thoughtful focus on your spouse.

Many couples (particularly males) have come to view Valentine's Day as a tedious obligation: to buy chocolates or flowers, to go out for a "romantic" dinner, or to trudge off to the local drug store in search of a silly or syrupy card.

Having coached thousands of couples and trained thousands of couples' counselors worldwide, I'd like to offer you a new perspective: Valentine's Day is a once-a-year opportunity to try out new behaviors that can strengthen your relationship.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be an occasion to celebrate love and romance. Instead, it often turns into an anxiety-producing, expectation-riddled competition that can lead to disappointment and frustration, especially in one’s marriage.

Here are a few questions from people suffering from what I call "Valentine’s Envy" and how you should answer them to keep the focus on love instead of hype this year.

1. Every Valentine's Day my best friend’s husband does something over-the-top. For instance

What I have learned as a divorce attorney, and a husband, is that it is the little things that count. Anyone can buy flowers, candy, tickets to a concert or sporting event, but taking the time to plan some special "gifts" to give on Valentine’s Day add credit to the positives in your relationship. Keeping a relationship fresh and alive is critical to keeping a marriage or long-term relationship new and thriving. Many relationships fail because a couple is not implementing change, instead they are sticking to the same old routines and that can be evident when it comes to gift-giving.

For those who are not all that creative, or better yet, who have no budget for lavishing expensive gifts on their lover, I offer the following six things you can do to make this year’s Valentine’s Day with your love the most memorable to date. All you need is “love” and an active imagination!

I'll be the first to admit that not long ago, I would have been quick to declare that Valentine's Day is nothing more than a "Hallmark" holiday. I’ve often said, "It's just a reason for greeting card companies to push more product." While they certainly capitalize on the holiday, I had an epiphany that brought me on board with the celebration.

Even before the light bulb went off above my head, I still celebrated Valentine's Day and even enjoyed the holiday, although a certain piece of me felt it was contrived.

Some women don't care very much about Valentine’s Day—they get so much love and attention on a frequent basis by their husband that they don't need a special day. Just like any woman, they like to be remembered but, in this case, feel so filled up that it’s no big deal if he forgets or gets a last-minute card.

Many women on the other hand don’t get this type of appreciation all year-round and are therefore not getting what they need