Tag: words

He says, "I love you," and you believe him. She says, "I'll be faithful to you forever" and you believe her. You assume what you hear is truth.

When your husband then calls you "stupid," "bitch," and "dumb," you are in shock—how could he say this if he loves you? When you glance at your wife’s Twitter feed and realize she’s flirting shamelessly online, you're appalled. Why is this happening? What's going on?

It was Sophia’s birthday and even though she had asked her husband, James, not to plan a weekend with his kids on her birthday, he did. His reason? His ex-wife had made plans months ahead for that same weekend, and James didn’t want his kids to be with a babysitter. He figured he and Sophia could celebrate her birthday on a different date.

Sophia, once again, felt unimportant and last on his list of priorities. As you can imagine, this recurring issue caused a major argument between the two of them.

We all know that just as there are words which uplift and enthrall us, there are words which can hurt and demean us. But did you know that there is one four-letter word that actually kills?!

No, it’s not that four-letter word, it’s the word "can’t." The word "can’t" kills dreams, hopes, aspirations, opportunities, love—the list goes on. "Can’t" puts a stop, a halt, an immediate end to all effort, to all forward movement.

We have all heard and probably recited the nursery rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones…" You know the rest: "But words can never hurt me."

If only it were true. The fact is that words do hurt. Unlike a bruise or broken bone, we can’t see the wound on the outside. Most of us can recall instances from our own lives when words cut deeply, causing wounds that may still hurt.

Since these wounds are not visible to others, we go through life exhibiting behaviors that come from how we deal with these old hurts. If we try to bury the wound rather than learn from it, we not only prevent healing, but we are likely to inflict pain on others.

"Worry is bad stuff. It will eat your mind."

This powerful bit of wisdom came from my friend Steve during his battle with ALS. His words still linger in my mind.

I tend to worry. I wonder about this or that. I imagine various outcomes to multiple scenarios. I carry emotional burdens I’m not even aware of.

When worry comes, fear surfaces. Fear fuels worry. Worry stirs fear. It’s a debilitating cycle.

Many couples deeply in love eagerly begin a life together and one day it all seems to be a ridiculous ruse. It's not just the big crisis that can tear love apart... it’s the little things. Words are as deadly to an individual’s wellbeing as a gunshot through the heart. Those who share the most intimate moments have the most power to turn one inside out and destroy. Words are the weapons most used to separate another from love’s power. The insidious war is waged with subtle remarks that cut deeply yet keep the opponent in the dark. Here are a few of the phrases that invalidate a partner in a relationship and need to be conscious of.