Insight

"For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~Rilke

Imagine if we began our marriage with the vow, "I take you as my burden, to have and to hold from this day forward." Call me jaded, but I think if people understood loving someone over time is agreeing to the most enriching burden you will ever carry—we would leave one another less. We would enter the challenge of relating with our eyes open and be prepared for the serious heavy lifting love takes.

Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures. ~Voltaire

Studies have confirmed that as many as 1 in 20 individuals experience a transcendent experience in orgasm. These so called "transcendent orgasms" have people feeling a variety of unique experiences, including feeling of a shift of space and time, timelessness, vast emptiness as if your having an out-of-body experience, and a transformation of self and other converging and intersecting paths of spirit and sexuality.

Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we know how to understand sex. ~ Henry Ellis

Sex scandals are us. The news is replete with what seems an endless account of seemingly good people whose sexuality has literally transformed them into a criminal. The stories of childhood sexual abuse are deeply troubling and extend into the millions when you consider the many youths sold into the global sex trade. Yet, stories of coaches and kids in locker rooms hit an even deeper nerve because they make us question, at the deepest level, our own sexual urges. We are all caught in the conundrum of longing to experience our sexual depths, while simultaneously being terrified of whether our fantasies are normal or even dangerous.

Recognizing that your relationship with your spouse—and those closest to you—are the most gentle teachers in life is a great way to approach the work involved in staying with them and getting though the hard times. Too often we don’t value and trust the huge amounts of resources that we have invested into them and are too willing to dispose of them before really digging into the work before us. I have been sharing these love tips for years and consistently hear back from friends that doing the work of love rewards them in ways they couldn’t have imagined. Use these tips to make this year one of love and healing.

"To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude." ~Albert Schweitzer

As a concept and way of living, gratitude is always one of the first concepts taught in positive psychology texts and has, for centuries, been called the greatest of virtues and the parent of all the others. A dear friend of mine once shared with me that the more she practiced gratitude daily, the more her life became increasingly abundant in ways that continued to amaze her and even her husband.

Did you know that August is Romance Awareness Month? It's actually pretty easy to remember since Mother Nature drops a not-so-subtle hint by turning up the heat outside. For married couples, at the top of the list for reasons for divorce are things like money issues, infidelity, sexual problems, and boredom. In today’s climate of infidelity, couples have to realize that love is not the only key to a successful marriage. There are a number of things to remember and romance is just one of them.

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That’s basic spelling that every woman ought to know." -Jeanne Bourgeois

If ever there was a communication mechanism that predicted the destiny and longevity of a romantic interlude, and the sign of a great marriage, it’s the kiss. What we say with our kisses, as well as how they’re received and understood is the basis for all the sexual conversations they initiate.