My best friend and I had a vigorous discussion recently about the relative merits of process versus results. She was extolling the virtues of process and processing, and I was nattering on about “results, results, results.” Yet the obvious conclusion at the end of our conversation, was that both are necessary and valuable. Without process/processing, there is no valid result. Without a result in mind, process/processing is so much mental-meandering.
Which got me thinking in a different way about our present situation. The pandemic. Which we’d all like to see over and done with like, yesterday. A final resounding result to this seemingly unending situation; which as is increasingly clear, will not be the case. But what if we viewed it more as process? As something we quite literally are processing (like it or not!), which according to The Free Dictionary, is “To gain an understanding or acceptance of; come to terms with.”
Take four-year-old Madison and her dad Dan Presser. At first, Dan’s idea was just to find something fun for Madison to do, to help his daughter come to terms with the long months of isolation. What was it? He re-created little videos on his iPhone of famous movie scenes, with Madison as the lead, and posted them on the internet. So there was the “Lion King” episode, a “Mrs. Doubtfire” episode and a “Forrest Gump” episode, along with many others as our stay-at-home continues. Mom (aka Mrs. Presser) would make the costumes, and baby brother (21 months old) would occasionally grace the scene with an appearance. Madison’s friends were included via their phones as sometime supporting players.
Much to Dan’s surprise, the videos garnered a growing following. With that, Dan was inspired to use the videos’ popularity as a teaching moment for his daughter. How one could help people in need, in particular those who didn’t have food on the table regularly. To date, the father-and-daughter team’s videos have generated more than $12,000 for Feeding America, with the help of matching donations from Disney. What a creative and heart-felt way to help Madison—and others—understand and come to terms with some of what the pandemic means.
Process! If all Dan did was sit around and bemoan the situation, waiting for a good result to fall from the sky, he would never have been inspired to come up with his father-and-daughter videos. Not that we all need to become mini-movie-makers, that’s not the point. What would benefit us all, is to stop and think for a moment. What could I think or do or share that would help me—and possibly others—come to terms with the situation which exists, no matter how disliked?
You are more creative than you know, and stronger than you think. You can, given a willingness to do so, come to terms with our present situation with more hope and less angst, until such time as the much-desired result comes to pass.
Dr. Noelle Nelson
Through her years as a psychologist, author and seminar leader, Dr. Noelle Nelson has empowered countless individuals to be happier, healthier and more successful at work, at home and in relationships.
Dr. Nelson shares her proactive and positive outlook in all her books, articles, interviews, seminars and consulting practice. Her books include Dangerous Relationships: How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship(Amazon), which established her as a relationship expert. Her latest book, Phoenix Rising - Surviving Catastrophic Loss: Fires, Floods, Hurricanes and Tornadoes (Amazon), explores the trauma of losing a lifetime of possessions in a disaster, how to survive the immediate aftermath and how to find the strength to start anew.
Born in Manhattan to a French mother and an American dad, Dr. Nelson, at the ripe old age of six months, came to Southern California where she currently resides. Travel is a cherished pastime, which Dr. Nelson enjoys whenever her schedule permits. Other interests include voracious reading (mysteries and historical fiction are favorites) and ballroom dancing (she competes all around the country).
Dr. Nelson holds advanced degrees in clinical psychology from the United States International University (M.A., Ph.D.), and sociology degrees from the University of California at Los Angeles (B.A.) and the Sorbonne, Paris (Maitrise, Doctorat 3eme Cycle). She is a licensed clinical psychologist.
Listen to her twice-monthly podcast “Up! Uplifting, Inspiring, Practical” on Spotify, Google Podcasts and on YouTube. www.noellenelson.com, @drnoellenelson, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings
