Tag: fear

My wife is a flirt. She flirts at every party we attend, while we're out in public—literally everywhere. I know she loves me and I don't suspect her of any outside love affairs, but why does she have to behave like this? I feel like I should step in and express my feelings, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m uptight or smothering her. Should I put a stop to it? And if so, how?

This is the type of question that is deserving of a two angle approach.

My husband might die.

I’m wide awake, lying on my back, staring at the ceiling in an unfamiliar room, while these four words loop in my head. I am staying with a friend and fellow military wife in Colorado. Earlier in the day, I tried to keep my composure. But now, in the quiet darkness, I can’t hold back my tears. The worry has set in strong, as this possibility feels very real. Much too real.

Harold might die.

My husband, my best friend and the love of my life, chose to leave me to climb a massive mountain halfway across the world . . . and he wasn’t even a climber when I met him three years ago!

Quite often amongst wedding vows you hear the words "for better or for worse," and we mean it when we say it. As a couple you have already shared so many good times, and you know how to do that quite easily, that’s what brought you together. However, when it comes to a crisis, you may need a whole new set of tools that you have never used before. Believe it or not, it’s the hard times that really define you as a couple and strengthen your relationship in a measure that is invaluable, thereby making the worst of times some of your best moments. The moments that count when you need each other the most.

We all have an area of our life where we want to experience change? Whether you want to better your marriage, get physically fit, change careers, move to a new home or learn a new skill, there are three simple steps you can follow that will absolutely guarantee new results!

Shift Your Perspective

At any given moment we are either looking at life through the lens of fear or love. Wherever you are not experiencing life the way you want, it is being viewed through fear.

Fear is the great spoiler of joy: lingering from the moment your alarm clock rings in the morning to the time you set it for the next day. Fear stands in the way of enjoyment, peace and serenity. Fear runs enormous portions of our lives—often without us realizing it—and causes great internal damage.

And this fear shows itself in simple everyday instances that begin to takeover your life, for example:

Halloween is almost upon us, and grown-ups are planning Halloween parties, while kids of all ages figure out what costume to wear and whether to trick or treat. For all the fun we have at Halloween, it is still a day in remembrance of all things scary; ghosts, zombies, witches, spells and curses.

Fear. Or, as I prefer to think about it, F.E.A.R: False Evidence Appearing Real. The "ghost" is a sheet fluttering, the "witch” is but a black robe and tall hat, the "zombie" an amalgamation of tattered clothes and white ghoulish make-up. Yet fear is a real emotion. Any time our survival, our well-being—or that of a loved one—is threatened, we experience fear.

"Worry is bad stuff. It will eat your mind."

This powerful bit of wisdom came from my friend Steve during his battle with ALS. His words still linger in my mind.

I tend to worry. I wonder about this or that. I imagine various outcomes to multiple scenarios. I carry emotional burdens I’m not even aware of.

When worry comes, fear surfaces. Fear fuels worry. Worry stirs fear. It’s a debilitating cycle.