Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
I recently started taking an antidepressant and lost my sex drive. What can I do?
Take heart that you’re not alone. Research suggests that 37 percent of people who take antidepressants experience everything from decreased libido to increased time reaching orgasm.
Here’s a few suggestions that may help:
Talk with your doctor.
There are a range of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and some are less problematic. You may be able to switch to a similar medication with fewer side effects. Also try: lowering the dose; scheduling the time you take the drug around sex; or adding another drug to counteract side effects.
Change your perspective.
Think about how sex was before this drug. You probably didn’t feel at all sexy or sexual. Now after addressing your health concerns you’re interested in sex. Hoorah! So in a round about way, your libido has actually increased.
Have a heart-to-heart.
Chances are your partner is happy you’re feeling well and is empathetic about possible side effects. Talking about how you’re going to work together to cope with any changes.
Great sex tip.
Sometimes the sexual effects will be welcomed. Men who are premature ejaculators might now experience delayed ejaculation.
Does social media have an affect on people’s sexual behavior?
Although we’re still in the early days of the social media frenzy—texting, sexting, Twitter, Facebook, and such—it looks like it is having a big effect on how people approach sex. While we’re busy looking at screens, we’re losing touch with key things that can make a long term relationship work. Because social media fosters a sense of faux intimacy among couples, all important face-to-face communication goes by the wayside.
Technology takes its toll.
Even though a survey from a U.S. women’s magazine found more people have amazing sex, 51% of respondents said between iPads and cell phones in the bedroom, couple-time isn’t as intimate as it used to be. Intimacy being the glue that holds a couple together through thick and thin. When asked what they would do if they received a call or text during sex, 5% said they would glance at the phone to see who is calling. One percent said they would stop to answer the phone.
Great sex tip.
Bottom Line: Digital communication and the time we spend engaged in it may give a sense of intimacy, but it doesn’t teach people how to develop genuine long term relationships.
How long is the average penis?
There is a perpetuated myth that the bigger the penis the better the sex. Or a guy needs a large penis to satisfy his partner. Not true. The average size of a flaccid (limp) male penis is between 3 and 3.5 inches. The average length of an erect penis is 6 inches.
Ninety percent of men have an erect penis between 5 inches and 7 inches in length. That means five percent of men have an erect penis a little smaller than 5 inches. An equal number of adult men have an erect penis longer than 7 inches.
Surprise! The average length of a woman’s unaroused vaginal canal is between 3 to 3.5 inches. When aroused the average length balloons to between 5 and 7 inches.
It’s usually a perfect fit.
Usually the average-sized penis fits perfectly with an average-sized vaginal canal. (Did you think Mother Nature took a day off and didn’t think about how this was all going to work?)
Great sex tip.
Are you a “grower” or a “shower?” A grower’s penis start off small when flaccid, but then grows; a showers looks big when flaccid but doesn’t grow much more when erect.
Is it true that there are other orgasms like the G-Spot orgasm?
So many orgasms… so little time. Here’s the low down on ways some women can have an internal—inside the vaginal canal—orgasm.
The G-spot.
While the G-spot can produce some very pleasurable sensations, most women have failed to locate that magical button that, supposedly, makes them weak in the knees.
The A-spot.
This is a patch of sensitive tissue that is positioned at the very back, next to her cervix. Apply pressure to the area on the side of the cervix closest to your bladder—think toward her belly button. You will know if you hit the A-spot, as it can produce rapid lubrication. As well, you can have multiple orgasms without any rest periods in-between.
The U-spot.
Often easier for some women to find than the A-spot, it’s positioned at the opening of the vagina, directly above and to either side, of her urethral opening. When stroked lightly, it can produce very pleasurable and powerful erotic sensations.
Great sex tip.
Remember not all women can have an internal orgasm; for no other reason than her biological makeup. Once the pressure is off to have any of these orgasms, it becomes fun to explore her body. You just never know what she is capable of achieving!
Dr. Trina Read
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers free sex and lots of other information and resources on her website www.trinaread.com. To order her book, "Til Sex Do Us Part," click here.
You can also hear more from Dr. Trina Read on the Hitched Podcast.
