Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
How do I tell my husband that his bad breath ruins my mood?
Sadly, I believe, a big reason couples lose their desire to kiss passionately is a lack of attention to their (bad) breath. Yet, bad breath is one of those “darned if you say something and darned if you don’t” predicaments.
Sometimes subtle tactics work; hints like offering a stick of gum, sprig of parsley or whatever breath freshener is available. However, most people pick up on this, will probably get defensive and walk away in a huff—breaking the (already broken) mood.
You need to ask yourself: is your guy’s bad breath a once in a while thing, or is it chronic? If it is the latter, a trip to the dentist may be in order. Otherwise it means having a gentle chat that acceptable breath isn’t only for his work environment.
Remember, it’s a big motivation for him to know fresh breath equals you feeling more romantic.
Then show him this trick: When he wants to get romantic, simply lick the inside of his wrist and sniff. If he does not like what he smells, he immediately needs to do something to alleviate the situation.
Sex Tip: Make sure to keep something like a pack of mint strips at your bedside table when things start heating up. You will both have minty fresh breath and things will stay heated up.
I’ve recently had a miscarriage. We want to start trying to get pregnant again but I’m really scared.
Of course you’re scared. You’ve just been through a big ordeal and “getting back on that horse” is fraught with a lot of emotion. At this crossroads, you have two choices: your heartbreaking experience can bring you closer, or it can start to subtly pull you two apart.
Here’s how to bring you closer: First, make sure to talk to each other. Understandably it’s challenging because it’s easier to ignore, or pretend like it never happened. Instead, discuss these two things:
* How has your miscarriage affected your relationship?
* How has your miscarriage affected how you feel about sex?
Next, appreciate your spouse’s perspective. While you’ve had a front-row seat from day one, he has been sitting in the wings watching the drama unfold. It’s hard for him to fully understand what you are going through emotionally.
Make sure you’re a good sounding board for him. You’re probably the only person your husband can talk to and he might feel alienated if his feelings are ignored.
Finally, take it slow. Load up on intimacy: baths together, massages, glasses of wine while listening to music. This will, hopefully, make it much easier to move back into baby-making sex.
Sex Tip: Only by communicating, grieving and then making motions to move forward can your relationship not hang in post-miscarriage limbo.
Dr. Trina Read
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers free sex and lots of other information and resources on her website www.trinaread.com. To order her book, "Til Sex Do Us Part," click here.
You can also hear more from Dr. Trina Read on the Hitched Podcast.
