Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Trina Read, is ready to answer your questions.
How does this new female sexual enhancing drug Flibanserin work?
Flibanserin was created as an anti-depressant, but trial testers quickly noticed it enhanced women’s sexual desire.
Our biggest sex organ—the brain—plays an important role in regulating a woman’s sexual desire. Flibanserin helps brain chemicals increase the downstream release of feel-good dopamine and norepinephrine while reducing stress-inducing serotonin in the parts of the brain dealing with sexual desire.
However, there are many factors at play when it comes to women and desire including: relationship issues, boredom and discomfort during sex.
Therefore, Flibaserin is meant to treat Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder (FSIAD) which is when a woman’s lack of sexual desire is ongoing and causes her distress; it can’t be directly caused by a non-sexual mental disorder, severe relationship distress (like abuse), other stressors, a drug, or other medical condition.
Meaning, the right candidate is someone who used to have a great libido, but now doesn’t and there’s no explanation as to why. She’s in a loving relationship and her lack of sexual desire is negatively impacting her quality of life.
A chat with your doctor and/or sex therapist can help you decide if Flibaserin is right for you.
Great Sex Tip: According to the North American Menopause Society, FSIAD might be more common in peri-menopausal women than post-menopausal women, but FSIAD can be found among all age groups.
I caught my husband wearing my underwear and it’s completely freaking me out.
Okay. First take a deep breath. Although it is shocking to see a man wearing women’s lingerie, it’s certainly not uncommon.
Your biggest question might be, why would he wear your underwear? Men wear lingerie for the same reason as women: it feels sexy. But because there is a massive stigma most men would rather sneak rather than admit it.
You need to ask yourself: Was it the secrecy, or him actually wearing lingerie that upsets you. I would guess it’s mostly the secrecy.
Unfortunately, 99 percent of the population is conditioned to believe how genders should dress. Accordingly, we believe a man isn’t manly if he wants to wear lacy undies.
Looking at this in another way, a big part of a happy, healthy marriage is your husband not being afraid to be himself. I will go out on a limb and say he got caught on purpose because he didn’t know how else to bring this up to you.
Tell him you love him and want to understand this. If you can reserve judgment and listen you will probably see this is really nothing more than a (pretty harmless) kink.
With time and acceptance—and an open mind—it may eventually become a positive sexual enhancer.
Great Sex Tip: Men’s lingerie is so popular there’s a clothing line of lingerie for men called Homme Mystery.
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Dr. Trina Read
Dr. Trina Read has a doctorate in human sexuality. Dr. Read is also an international speaker and offers free sex and lots of other information and resources on her website www.trinaread.com. To order her book, "Til Sex Do Us Part," click here.
You can also hear more from Dr. Trina Read on the Hitched Podcast.
