How do you see yourself? As a hero or a victim? In any given life circumstance, you can see yourself either way.
I recently moved into my new home. As is often the case with a “new” home, that is to say new to me, although built in the mid 1960s, it has what is euphemistically referred to as a few “issues.” As in, I was scheduled to leave town for work first thing Friday morning, and Wednesday night, both toilets in my house ceased to function. This mattered greatly, as the puppy-sitter who was booked to take care of my beloved dogs in my absence could not be expected to stay over-night without a functioning toilet, and it being a holiday weekend, I would not be able to find a place to board them last-minute.
Hero or victim? First thought, victim! Of all the times for the toilets to fail, and not one, but both toilets! After frantic calls to plumbers not returning my call (more “victim”), worrying myself sick over “Now, what?! This is a disaster!” (yet more “victim”) I took myself in hand, and gave myself a talking-to.
As in, “who would you like to be, Noelle?” A whiny victim, or a successful hero? Good question! Because, you see, I know from long experience that a hero is simply someone who refuses to see a problem as unsolvable, and forges on until some kind of solution is unearthed. Sometimes that means being Captain Marvel and saving the world, sometimes it’s just me figuring out a toilet situation…
Once I shifted my perspective, it dawned on me to contact the repair person who’d fixed some odds and ends; maybe he’d know a willing plumber. To my surprise, he turned out to be the willing plumber. Plus, he was up for a crack-of-dawn visit to the local home improvement center, purchasing two new guaranteed fully-functioning toilets—at a reasonable price, no less—and installing them, all before I had to leave Friday morning. Whew!
Had I stuck with my “Woe is me, life is so unfair” position, I would not have continued trying to come up with a solution. It was only when I told myself that somehow I’d get this handled that the idea came to me to contact the repair person.
Next time you are up against what could easily be defined as a victim situation, challenge yourself to find your inner hero. You’ll be surprised at just how innovative they (you) are!
Dr. Noelle Nelson
Through her years as a psychologist, author and seminar leader, Dr. Noelle Nelson has empowered countless individuals to be happier, healthier and more successful at work, at home and in relationships.
Dr. Nelson shares her proactive and positive outlook in all her books, articles, interviews, seminars and consulting practice. Her books include Dangerous Relationships: How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship(Amazon), which established her as a relationship expert. Her latest book, Phoenix Rising - Surviving Catastrophic Loss: Fires, Floods, Hurricanes and Tornadoes (Amazon), explores the trauma of losing a lifetime of possessions in a disaster, how to survive the immediate aftermath and how to find the strength to start anew.
Born in Manhattan to a French mother and an American dad, Dr. Nelson, at the ripe old age of six months, came to Southern California where she currently resides. Travel is a cherished pastime, which Dr. Nelson enjoys whenever her schedule permits. Other interests include voracious reading (mysteries and historical fiction are favorites) and ballroom dancing (she competes all around the country).
Dr. Nelson holds advanced degrees in clinical psychology from the United States International University (M.A., Ph.D.), and sociology degrees from the University of California at Los Angeles (B.A.) and the Sorbonne, Paris (Maitrise, Doctorat 3eme Cycle). She is a licensed clinical psychologist.
Listen to her twice-monthly podcast “Up! Uplifting, Inspiring, Practical” on Spotify, Google Podcasts and on YouTube. www.noellenelson.com, @drnoellenelson, https://www.facebook.com/MeetTheAmazings
